I should never have pressed that button!
A bad day today: woke with a migraine at 6.0 a.m. and began taking the meds. at once. They have taken the worst edge off but not stopped it. Taken more meds. every few hours but not getting on top of it: husband is away so I’m dragging through, taking the dogs for walks, putting ponies in and out, cleaning the wild bird feeders, and doing the daily chores feeling sick and depressed. And with the ending of the day it is getting worse, and the full complement of meds. has been taken: dangerous to take any more now until tomorrow.
I know what’s going on. Its the old ‘pride before a fall’ syndrome: my body is letting me know that contemplating my trip to the US is folly and this is what will happen if I go ahead. I’ve seen it before.
Well, tough titty, bod. I’m heading off anyway and if all goes pear-shaped, so be it, but I’m going to give it a go. Many, many years ago in hospital after a life-saving operation, I was not recovering as I should even though there was no longer any medical reason why not, and a wise Ward Sister told me that sometimes the body actually seems to want one to fail. What is actually happening of course is that psychologically one is frightened of failing and the body then acts according to the unconscious mental prompting. She said “There comes a time when you have to prove to your body who is boss”. I did not really understand her at the time but now I do.
You cannot always do that, but the old adage of ‘mind over matter’ holds true. I cannot get rid of this migraine, or stop the pain and sickness, but I can determine that once it is over, I won’t let it rule my life. So off to bed with a hot water bottle and sick bowl for a few hours to sit it out. The only chores left are two more dogs to walk and the ponies to get in and feed and it won’t be the first time I’ve staggered out under such conditions. And my lovely new neighbour down the road has offered to help if I need it and in extremis I will call on her to help with the animals.
What a miserable post for what has been a glorious day, blue sky, hot sun and birds singing their heads off. Sorry.