Getting six hours sleep a night, beginning at nine in the morning, concentrating like mad, trying to take notes fast, trying to understand the more esoteric points of chord progression and avoiding those consecutive octaves and fifths when filling in four part harmony. Child’s play to most musicians but a steep learning curve for me.
The trouble is that when I was abroad I took time to enjoy the holiday and on my return was not very well for a few weeks and have got behind. So I cannot work at my usual steady, logical pace: this leaves me feeling insecure and unhappy that I have missed some vital point entailing vigorous checks on my work before sending it in.
I finally finished my last assignment and sent it off to my tutor this afternoon: but instead of the lovely feeling of a job well done I am anxious that it was not up to standard. And instead of that lovely feeling of relief, I know that come tomorrow morning I must begin the punishing schedule again, because the next assignment is due in ten days time. We were told at the beginning that this is an intensive course and would require a minimum of 13 hours work every week. So, that’s 52 hours work to do on the course work and then at least13 hours to do the assignment: 65 hours in ten days. And here I am, feeling brain dead.
Not that I am complaining you understand. It is a splendid course, wonderfully put together and worked out and when I have time, I am really enjoying it! Especially when I get good marks. Because I am one of those sad individuals who needs good marks or else feels bad about herself. It is fatal to get good marks because then there is nowhere to go but down: the last assignment I got 99% and I know that the one I have sent in will be about 45%. Still, all my own fault: if I had stayed on top of the work I would not be agonising to you now.